LONGING, SUFFERING & THE LIVING
What's in my ears?
Nirvana
Bleach
Nevermind
In Utero
English
Now that I have distanced myself from the music of the 80s, I can appreciate the production. Often characterized by pompous drums and soulless synths. Reverb on absolutely everything. 1989 was also one of my favorite bands at their most pompous. U2 was out on the Lovetown tour, together with BB King. Good atmosphere for sure, but boring. When they retired to dream it all up again, exciting things happened in the world of rock.
Suddenly, albums began to appear with a raw and naked sound. During 91 and 92, Metallica, Red Hot Cilli Peppers, U2, Talk Talk, Pearl Jam, Rage Against The Machine, Alice In Chains, Smashing Pumpkins and The Cure released groundbreaking records. To mention a few. As I understood it then, it was a turn towards a harder expression for many bands. Not only that, but also a production that sounded less, yes, produced. I found this very refreshing. The records sounded more like the bands sounded live. I've always liked live records, often better than studio versions.
Bleach
Nirvana's first record, Bleach, came out in 1989. I heard it at a friend's house when it came out. His older brother had bought Bleach and Smashing Pumpkins Siamese Dream. I didn't understand anything of Bleach, but immediately fell for the songs and the sound on Siamese Dream. When I have now, after many, many years, bought Bleach on vinyl, in an exclusive edition with this and that and almost Cobain's sweat rubbed into the cover, I realize that I have been banging to live versions of several of these songs for many years.
Bleach opens with Blew. I had also heard School and Negative Creap before. All three of these can be found on Nirvana's live album From The Muddy Banks of the Wishkah. School became an immediate favorite for me. A shitty guitar riff opens, before drums and bass kick in. I note that the studio version does not sound bad at all, although I prefer Dave Grohl on drums. Here Chad Channing and Dale Crover play drums. Otherwise, we find About a Girl in an absolutely beautiful version on Nirvana's Unplugged album.
There is something narrative in the sound on Bleach. It tells about a band that has played a lot live, that is on the way, that is starting to write really good songs and that has a vocalist with soul. Steady drums are important for the songs to sound pleasant. Chad and Dale are almost there, but not quite. Krist Novoselic is there. Kurt is Kurt.
Nevermind
It took years before I could enjoy Nevermind again. I didn't buy the record when it came out. There was too much other interesting music to buy on expensive CD, plus it was played everywhere anyway. I probably wasn't ready for this rawness either. Song named Territorial Pissings and the raw intro on Breed scared me. It took a few more years before I could appreciate this kind of raw rock.
In 2024 with fresh vinyl in the lap, the situation is different. Thousands of hours have been spent listening to, writing and playing rock. The ears have become used to this by now. But, already in 1994 Motorpsycho cured this issue quite well. With A Shrug & a Fistfull from Timoty's Monster and a very tight youth club concert, Motorpsycho managed to trick me into musical labyrinths, where finding the gold offers resistance. It is this resistance, perhaps the contrast, that makes it so incredibly exciting when you first find what is so infinitely beautiful. Listen to Kill Some Day and Wearing yr Smell from the same record.
Enough about Motorpsycho and on to Nevermind. No fancy smancy edition here. Simple and straightforward edition without fold-out, gatefold. But the music, it's fresh and nice. The production still sounds fat. You are reminded of how much a good mix has to say. Cobain sings raw and melodious, the bass hums even more and the drums, yes they are taken over by our man Dave Grohl. What a blow, so right to get this on vinyl. So right to play this loud in a big room.
The thing about vinyl for me now is partly that I like the sound, partly that I like cover art in large format. But it is also a way of prioritizing listening, and that listening and focus will improve with a little resistance. I'm probably not going to listen to Nevermind or Bleach much, but my God it's going to be great when they're brought up.
It is difficult to single out songs on Nevermind. All is great or very good. Smells Like Teen Spirit, Come As You Are and Polly are a bit boring. It's possible it's because I've heard them too much, or maybe there's too little resistance.
In Utero
Me and Frode, who play drums in SVIIR, listened to this last winter. Neither of us had heard In Utero for a long time, and we were both blown away by how raw it sounds. We had completely forgotten about that. This is the only Nirvana record I bought originally, on CD of course. I dug a lot of songs on Nevermind, but back in the days you had to prioritize hard which records you could afford to buy. The songs from Nevermind were swirling around anyway, so it felt more important to buy In Utero.
In Utero is Latin and means in the womb. I didn't know that at the time, but the cover shows this. I saw a lot of body parts, quite macabre but also exciting. This transparent woman has wings on her back. It gives the cover a mythical and mysterious feel, as a contrast to the concrete and scientifically produced body. The inside of the cover shows several cool live images. Some rebellious images where drums and instruments are left to rumble, part of the show was to destroy instruments. A legacy Nirvana took up after The Who. Other photos show Kurt's insanely simple and stylish set-up. Two pedals, a boss overdrive or turbo distortion and one which I assume is chorus. No tuner. The pedals run on batteries. Easy and tidy. Some dude is pictured in women's clothes in a bathtub, nachspiel in the hotel after the gig?
When I turned the CD over, I could see pictures of several fetuses and body parts. This must have shocked the USA in the 90s. It shocked a toddler in a rectory in Nærbø, Jæren. The area wasn't exactly known for embracing alternative rock at the time. When I put the disc on, I was, like probably most others, shocked by how different this sound is from Nevermind. I was probably a bit prepared too. The raw cover spoke for itself, several other bands I liked had changed their style at the beginning of the 90s, preferably towards a rawer sound. But to go from sounding relatively polished and commercial, to this, it still was unexpected. But I quickly embraced it.
The first to sit was Rape me. Probably because the riff is most similar to something from Nevermind, and because the lyrics are provocative. In Utero starts with the slightly sluggish Serve The Servants. I always think of Soundgarden when I hear this intro. It sets the tone, but has no obvious hooks. Bare vocals with no audible sound. Strict start.
Scentless Apprentice, on the other hand, has a drum intro with almost iconic status. This is a sting that cuts into the soul. A delicious distortion lays down like a blanket around the heart and almost protects against Kurt's screams. It will not be less strict here, so to speak.
The hit Heart-Shaped Box has a great intro and a typical Nirvana chorus. Cool song that you can dance crazy 90s dance to. Rape me follows up. So now we are moving towards more cleared land. We can put the machetes away for a while.
Frances Farmer Will Have Her Revenge On Seattle is a really cool song. Cool contrasts and cool feeding on the guitar. This is also a typical Nirvana landscape. I miss the comfort in being sad, then it's sad...
Dumb is In Utero's Polly. Fits nicely as a break in the middle of the record. Here we also have the cello. Cool contrast to the bare band sound image
Very Ape, we are on our way to punk landscape. Really cool chorus. I hear how influenced I am by this band. Just made a riff reminiscent of this. That's how it is..
Milk It continues to show the way into punk. A long instrumental intro with some rumbling from Kurt in the background, before we get a primal scream, doll steak - eat meat. Whatever that means. Here suicide is also mentioned in the lyrics.
Pennyroyal Tea is an ugly and beautiful song. Powerful chorus with strong chorus. Like it. We get a well-deserved break from the hustle and bustle.
Radio Friendly Unit Shifter starts with Kurt being the effects king and turning cool sounds on a chorus or flanger pedal, along with loads of distortion. Fat riffs are coming, really cool drums. This is experimental, straight forward, rigorous and accessible all at once. A highlight.
Tourette's is also a fairly typical Nirvana riff. Really cool guitar break, with oriental vibes. The vocals are more than strict, so these pauses are welcome. A short hot case.
In Utero rounds off with gorgeous, beautiful and naked All Apologies. This is a gem of a song, and in my opinion one of Nirvana's best. Cool vocal sound with a quick slap delay. Sinéad O'Connor has done a lovely cover of this one. Check it out!
In addition, we have a 10" on this 30 year anniversary reissue. Here we find what I assume are b-sides. Titles such as Moist Vagina and the much talked about I Hate Myself and Want To Die. No great musical highlights here, for my part, but cool to have.
This record is also a bit painful, when you know Kurt's fate. At the same time, music is also art. It is an expression of feelings and moods. That's how it has to be. I am happy and proud to have been able to experience this time with so much good music and visual art.
And the music, it lives on!
/Sindre
What am I reading?
Charles Bukowski
Post Office
Märkta Kort - 31 Noveller
Bukowski is a new acquaintance for me. I've read his poems and seen memes here and there, but never read a book. Bukowski is known for his raw style, lots of slang and rough types. Lots of Scotch whiskey with water, beer and wine. Lots of ladies too. I didn't know much about the author, other than that he was American, with some German ancestry on his father's side.
A quick question to Chat GPT gave us this answer:
Charles Bukowski was an American author and poet known for his realistic and often controversial work. He was born in the 1920s and died in 1994. Bukowski is best known for his descriptive work, which often focuses on the grotesque of everyday life, alcoholism, working-class life, and the under-enlightened side of American society. His works include novels such as "Post Office," "Factotum," and poetry collections such as "Love is a Dog From Hell" and "The Last Night of the Earth Poems." Bukowski achieved cult status both in the US and internationally for his honest and sharp look at the human condition.
Bukowski obviously knows the dark side of life well. The characters I've read about struggle with various forms of abuse and depression. The first thing I noticed was that Bukowski must have inspired Bono in the 90s as both "The Last Night of the Earth" and "The Days Run Away Like Wild Horses Over The Hills" are found in songs from U2. As a big fan of the band even POP from 96, I just had to order books. So the gift card I got for Christmas got spent.
I have now read these two books, and have a couple of poetry books to look forward to. I am excited to see if I find more references to well-known texts from the world of rock.
Post Office
"Post Office" by Charles Bukowski is a book that takes the reader into a world of routine, absurdity and alcoholism through the main character Henry Chinaski, who shares many similarities with the author himself. The book gives a raw and honest picture of the life of a postal worker, and explores themes such as boredom, desperation and the urge to break out of society's expectations.
Bukowski's writing style is direct and unpolished, and his descriptions of human flaws and shortcomings are both cruel and humorous at the same time. Through Chinaski's eyes we see a world of monotony and dissatisfaction, where working at the post office becomes a metaphor for the meaningless existence. Although the book may seem depressing and nihilistic on the surface, there is also an underlying theme of freedom and self-realization. Bukowski explores the idea of breaking out of society's expectations and living an authentic life, even if it can be chaotic and painful."
In other words, Post Office" fits nicely into ranks of books about life, which is what I read these days. This is a book that is not suitable for everyone, but for those who appreciate Bukowski's honest portrayals and nihilistic humor, it is an unforgettable reading experience.
Märkta Kort - 31 Short stories
I like to read books in the language they are written in, so I read Post Office in English. I found this short story collection only in Swedish. This is a compilation of two books, Septuagenarian Stew and Betting on the Muse. Here we are served 31 short stories with stories about men who are largely similar to the man we find in the Post Office. But even though the people, environments and theme have a lot in common, I think Bukowski manages to create variety through both language and the stories so that these become interesting reading experiences from start to finish.
Especially the story of the man who yearns to take his own life, but ends up becoming a hero and meeting love, is to be remembered.
After these two books, I'm a bit tired of this context and the somewhat one-sided gallery of people. At the same time, I am looking forward to getting started with the poetry books.
/Sindre
What am I reading?
When I started reading Morgenstjenen - The Morning Star in the summer of 2023, I had not read anything by Knausgård since Min kamp 6 - My struggle 6. A thick book, which I struggeled to read through. Partly because of an extremely long, gloomy, depressive and demanding essay towards the end of the novel. Partly because the family was in the middle of a crisis, as we had just suffered major water damage in our newly bought house. The following years were tiresome, and I probably didn't have the energy to relate to Knausgård's demanding and gloomy worldview. I found all the pictures and descriptions in what he wrote repulsive. Easy reading or no reading, only consumption, was what mattered.
Then the years have passed. Something in life has become easier and I have made some decisions on how I want to spend the rest of my time. Music and literature come high on the list, which this blog reflects. I also don't remember what it was that caught my interest in Morgenstjernen, probably a not only laudatory, but also well and thoughtfully written review of the book. Anyway, I decided to buy it, and take it with me on summer vacation.
Bringing a book on holiday was something I started with when we had children and could only bear to go on holiday to the nearest family. Before the era of the smartphone, books became a great way to have a break, without getting restless. Then the phone took over, before I have now found my way back to the wonderful universe of books. As you have probably noticed if you have been following the blog, I alternate between reading non-fiction and fiction. I need input on how to handle life. It shows in most of the podcasts, blogs and books I consume. The music is something else.
I feel that Morgenstjernen, Ulvene - Wolves og Riket - The Kingdom are the books that most belong together, in the sense that we meet many of the same people in all three books. There is a large gallery of people in the books and for me it was a whirlwind of who was who. As I read, I realized who I was reading about, but that I was now getting the story from another person in the story and from their point of view. Some stories have stuck more strongly than others.
We follow a family on an archipelago holiday
Mother is an artist and mentally unstable, father is a lecturer in literature and drinks heavily on holiday, the children sense that something is not quite right. First we are in father's head in the next book we are in mother's head. Exciting how Knausgård manages to convey the people from within so vividly.
The politician who will donate his organs
When the surgeons start cutting into the body, it turns out that he is not dead after all. Was his name Ramsvik? Here we follow the nurse in one book and the surgeon in the next. No one understands how it is possible to get this far in the process without discovering that the patient is actually alive.
The Black Metal band that is ritually murdered in the most bestial way
I don't quite remember, but I get the feeling that we are in the Bergen area. We follow the investigator, but the story of the journalist is most interesting. He is cynical and dissatisfied with his job and family. He drinks heavily and exploits his position as a culture journalist. When he gets the job of covering the mass murder, he sees a chance to get his job back as a news journalist. He goes into the job with all he has of experience, cleverness and narcissism. His son is deeply unhappy and tries to commit suicide in the midst of this. This becomes a turning point in the history and the journalist ends up in a coma, and begins the journey into the realm of the dead or is it the waiting dimension?
In The Third Kingdom we meet Valdemar, who is the frontman of a black metal band Domen
He starts a relationship with a girl who we feel is quite straight compared to what he stands for. She travels to see the band he plays in have an exclusive concert at a festival far out in the Swedish forests. The band is quirky, and popular. People have come from all over Europe to see this band perform one of their very few concerts. The band also doesn't release music, it is not possible to listen to the bands music other than at concerts. Creating a demand that is. It turns out that this guy, not unexpectedly, has special preferences, which his girlfriend is definitely not on board with.
The book The Wolves from the Forest of Eternity is mostly about a family's story
Father is dead and it turns out that he had contact with the Soviet Union and had a girlfriend and a child. This does not come to light until long after his death, when his son Syvert finds some old letters among his father's files. We also follow the daughter, Alevtina's life, in what has become Russia. In the next book, The Kingdom, Syvert and Alevtina meet in Moscow. A strange meeting, in which Knausn brings out well the collisions that can occur when cultures meet.
Nattstjernen - The Night Star is a different kind of book
We are getting a story. Budding photographer Kristian goes to London to attend photography school. He is a loner, self-absorbed and extremely easily offended. Pretentious. At the pub, Kristian meets the Dutchman Hans and eventually the circle around him. Hans gives Kristian honest feedback on his pictures. He believes the pictures do not live their own lives, they are uninteresting. Kristian decides to go all in. Steals a cat carcass, cooks the meat and takes pictures of the skeleton. These pictures become a success, both with Hans and at the school.
Kristian also meets Vivian, who is one of Hans's friends. They begin a relationship, and it is on the way to her that Kristian ends up in a scuffle with a homeless. A blow to the head causes the homeless man to die, and Kristian ends up after a lot of back and forth with the police. They have photo and video evidence, Kristian has reached bottom and humiliated. He has broken with his family in Norway, the only way out is to call Hans, who knows a lawyer. A couple of days later, Kristian is told that he is beyond suspicion, someone else has confessed. Hans is waiting outside the police station.
Kristian ends up becoming a very successful artist, but he has not changed. Rather, his difficult sides have been reinforced. The price for becoming a great artist, being free from the accusations of murder, the price for making a deal with Hans, is unimaginably great. As a father, it was painful to read the end of this book.
The night star is dark
I enjoy it when Kristian nerds out with the order of his albums, and read this into a larger context, but taken as a whole, this book is dark. The star that appears in the other three books is bright and warm.
The occult is a common thread in the books, but also freedom and longing. Death is central, but so is life. Yin and Yang. Resistance and coping. Longing, suffering and living. These are good but demanding books. I wouldn't say they are hard to read. When Knausgård tells stories, it can almost become predictable, without becoming boring. When he philosophizes, it gets interesting.
You have to read this. Knausgård is one of the great writers of our time in my eyes. The way he mixes history, philosophy, humanism, considerations and descriptions is both instructive and enjoyable to read.
/Sindre
What am I reading?
Did you think it couldn't get more realistic, rational and concrete after 48 Laws? No such thing. I have dug deeper into literature about life. Further away from spirituality than I have ever read. Otherwise, I think it is meaningful to explore spirituality within the culture that is closest to me. Now I want to explore realism in the same culture. It is possible that I will stop, at least for a while, with this book. This is not easy reading, nor is it particularly enjoyable.
Martin Butler
Martin Butler is a British scientist, IT entrepreneur and philosopher, who has written a couple of books. I became aware of him through several videos on TikTok. Here his wife, Debbie Butler, has filmed him while he answers various questions of the type, what is time? Are we animals? Do we all have cruelty inside us? And so on. The deepest questions, in other words. Feel free to take a look at the videos, at least there are interesting answers.
A Minority Interest: Understanding Yourself and Life
This is a pure atheist book, at the same time it is a philosophical book. Martin rejects all religion and all gods. He claims that we do not see the world as it really is. Matrix you say, well not quite in my opinion. There is no evil or good force, which is hidden from us, behind it all. Rather that in order to cope and manage reality, we create our own worlds or bubbles. He claims that all people and everything we do is driven by survival and reproduction.
Does life have a meaning?
This is probably the question that underlies the entire book, like a red thread. According to Martin, there is no higher meaning to our lives than to survive and pass on our genes. As with animals. But with our big brain, we have the opportunity to think about what we think. We create worlds for ourselves. Besides, we know that we will die. Humans know fear. Not as an instinct, but as a thought.
Know thyself, the philosopher Thales quote, means to dig. And digging is tiring. Some end up on a spiritual journey. For most of the western world's recent history, there has not been a choice. The answer to the big questions has been religion.
Martin, of course, believes that religion is pure self-denial and claims that life consists of a multitude of coincidences. Some coincidences are more significant than others. He calls these black swans after a book by Nassim Nicholas Taleb of the same name. These can be random meetings that mean you meet your life partner or that your career takes an unexpected direction. This also makes me think of the movie Sliding Doors. According to Martin, we can completely ignore that life is a journey.
Life is a collection of random events.
As usual, I have folded a bunch of donkey ears, underlined and highlighted. It's always like that when I read books like this. Books I have to come back to, to digest. This has been exciting reading in a completely different direction than this blog started with, namely A Russian Pilgrim's Tales.
There are so many people, so many thoughts and it is exciting to get to know different types of people. I think. If we agree, this is a book for you.
But it's definitely not easy and positive reading!
/Sindre
What am I reading?
Robert Greene - The 48 Laws of Power
This is a cynical book, no doubt about it. But does that mean it is not true? And, if true, is it important?
I discovered Robert Greene, like so much else, on social media. There he posted what we can call motivational videos. These are videos I am very skeptical about. Populists often figures as motivators here, and talks about easy solutions to big challenges. Robert Greene, on the other hand, comes across as credible. He has failing health, a voice that cracks, but still a message he thinks is so important that he defies opposition to get it out. This catches my eye and ear.
Robert Greene
Robert Greene is an American author, known for his books in the fields of self-development, strategy, power and psychology. He was born in 1959 in Los Angeles, California.
He is best known for his book "The 48 Laws of Power", which is a bestseller and has become popular in the world of business, management and personal development. The book explores the principles of power by providing advice based on historical and literary examples.
Other notable books by Robert Greene include "The Art of Seduction" (2001), "The 33 Strategies of War" (2006), "The 50th Law" (2009, written in collaboration with rapper 50 Cent), "Mastery" (2012 ), and "The Laws of Human Nature" (2018).
Robert Greene's approach to his subjects is often controversial, but his books have received considerable attention and have been translated into several languages. He draws on historical examples, literature and psychology to illustrate the principles he presents.
The 48 Laws of Power
"The 48 Laws of Power" was first published in 1998. The book is a guide that explores the dynamics and principles of power, and it offers advice on how to understand and utilize power structures in different contexts. Greene uses historical and literary examples to illustrate each of the 48 laws.
Here are some of the central themes and laws that the book deals with:
1. Power play and strategy: The book explores how power can be exercised and achieved through strategic thinking and action.
2. Observation of human behavior: Greene argues that understanding human nature and behavior is essential to exercising effective power.
3. Power plays in different contexts: The law includes advice for dealing with power in different areas of life, including the workplace, relationships, and society in general.
4. Ethics and morality: Some of the laws challenge traditional ethical norms and moral values, and this has been the subject of criticism from some readers.
Examples of the laws include "Law 1: Never Outshine the Master," "Law 3: Conceal Your Intentions," and "Law 15: Crush Your Enemy Totally."
It is important to note that the book does not necessarily encourage immoral behavior, but it does provide insight into how power structures work, both positively and negatively. It has become popular in business circles, management, and politics, but it has also become controversial because of its recommendations that some consider manipulative or amoral. Readers are encouraged to consider the book's advice with caution and ethical reflection.
Conclusion
So, is The 48 Laws of Power to be recommended? If you want a deeper understanding of humans, how humans interact and especially how humans seek power and dominance, then this book is good. The historical examples at the start of each chapter put the law into an understandable context.
This is a book that you pick up and use regularly. The content in this book is also something you take with you in your everyday life to find examples, which I would say are easy to find. For me, among other things, it has helped to put into words the exercise of power that is taking place in the present. Among other things, what I see in the news, and how the laws actually work in practice and what probable solutions lie in the future.
I spent quite some time reading this book. A lot of thought went into understanding the laws. In addition, it is crammed with fables and anecdotes, written in hard-to-read red font, in the margin. These give the laws a further context and understanding.
Although much of this book can be perceived as cynical, there are so many recognizable moments here that for me it is credible. And what is credible soon becomes true, and what is true I must be exposed to.
You are hereby warned and recommended!
/Sindre
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